Are you choosing happiness?

He looked familiar but I couldn’t place him…

We had been chatting for a while and my friend Alan had started the conversation.

Then it hit me…

The guy we were hanging with was famed educator, Shawn Achor.

My life is very strange…

I have been a fan of Shawn’s work for a long time but out of context all I knew was that he seemed like a nice guy and we were having a shockingly detailed conversation about the places where the four noble truths of traditional Buddhism overlap with some of Christ’s teachings.

You know…. just a little light chit chat.

Shawn is famous for his work in positive psychology and is a global game changer in the area of happiness.  With over nine million views on his TED Talk and 12 years at Harvard University, he knows a thing or two about a thing or two but his primary obsessions as a researcher / speaker are happiness and success.

His research has resulted in these realizations:

Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success and often redefines it. Happiness is a choice. Engaging in five specific daily activities will increase your experience of happiness.

I had heard about his research and thought that it sounded interesting but like a lot of things that sound good or seem too easy I let it go.

I let it go until hanging out with him and pressing him a little.

It became very clear that Shawn walks his talk, believes his research and that means a lot to me.

He says if you will do these fivesteps for 21 days,  you will begin to see a lasting shift in your mindset towards more positivity.

I have been playing around with his happiness practice but as of today I am committing to it for thirty days.

Will you join me?

The five daily activities

1) Bring gratitude to mind: Write down three NEW things that you are grateful for each day

2) Journal: About a positive experience you’ve had recently for two minutes once a day

3) Exercise: Engage in 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity

4) Meditate: Watch your breath go in and out for two minutes a day.  I add to this practice a listening prayer.  Sitting in silence with an open heart to what Christ wants for me in that moment.  There are so many approaches to meditation.  For Christians you may choose a scripture or a listening prayer.  For others of you, you may just sit quietly.  I do fifteen to twenty minutes.

5) Engage in a random, conscious act of kindness.  This can be as simple as sending an encouraging email or as big as paying for a stranger's groceries.  The key here is for it to be conscious.   Don't look over your day trying to see if something fits the bill. Be intentional and thoughtful about it.

If you are reading this and you have been going through an extended season of unhappiness, perhaps asking yourself if it will ever pass, you have a choice.

The inner critic does not have to win this one.

The voice that says “it’s too easy”, “he doesn’t know about MY particular situation” or “I don’t know what to do but I do know that this won’t work”.  You have a choice right now to engage these five daily habits as an experiment and see what happens.

30 days…

Who’s in?

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

Your life is still under construction?

I enjoy a diverse readership.

You are right leaning evangelical Christians, militant atheists, gay, straight, vegans, carnivores and everything in-between.

Love that about us.

I continue to be obsessed with Jesus.

Met him when I was eight and at 44, our thing is as fresh, perfect and mysterious as ever.

My feelings towards his fan club is perpetually evolving as are my opinions about the way we try to chase him down.

The notion that we are his house is important to me.

Important to the point that I go out of my way to not refer to meetings or buildings as “church”.

Through a divine mystery we are the dwelling place of God.

Sometimes I feel it and sometimes i have to just be patient and know that its true.

My opinion about church buildings and sacred spaces got rocked last week.

I have had the privilege of getting to travel to some pretty cool places.

Mayan ruins in Central America…

Makeshift chapels in refugee villages…

St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC…

Stonehenge…

My community can attest to how obnoxious I can be about my view of so called sacred spaces.

That’s not a sacred space.   YOU are!

Often they will preface comments with “Jim, I know how you feel about this, just listen for a second.”

I do…

For a second…   :)

As i said, something changed last week.

Barcelona Spain is home to The Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família.

This breath taking cathedral was designed by Antoni Gaudi and its construction began in 1882.

While in Spain for a gig, my friend William and I jumped on a tour bus to do a loop of the ancient city in pursuit of the Sagrada Família.

Recently some friends had visited and warned me not to miss it.

They made the point that it drove them to tears.

Like a wax drip castle Sagrada Família gloriously towers over Barcelona like no other structure I have ever seen and upon entering I was overcome with a wave of depth, beauty and Spirit that I was unaware I needed.

I have been feeling spiritually dehydrated these days.

Sagrada Família was the pool I needed to dive into.

Here is the thing about this place.

As I said, it was started in 1882, Gaudi died in 1926 and the cathedral is still under construction.

Scaffolding on the outside, worksites on the inside and yet even in its unfinished state, it serves its purpose perfectly.

Not because it is complete because it isn’tand not because the Pope visited in 2010.

It is perfect in its unfinished state.

What La Sagrada Família taught me was so am I.

By virtue of grace, God somehow lives in me and I am unfinished.

I am working on my outside.

I am working on my heart.

There is scaffolding that I don’t want you to see and inner world work that is ongoing.

Walking in I was taken with its impact on my heart and mind.

I sat in the silent area and while the main room is massive, it felt cozy, as though the three square feet I was occupying had been prepared for me the day they broke ground 133 years ago.

It served as an invitation to another cathedral I that I need to visit more often.

The cathedral of my heart.

I am an unfinished church and yet I am complete.

There is so much more work to be done and yet I have every single thing I need to fulfill today’s purpose.

So do you.

Don’t wait until you feel completed to start living the life you want.

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

Two words that change everything...

I’ve started this post three times.

The core has been in place for a month but the framework has not felt right.

Originally it was about how to deal with kids when they are selfish and entitled.

That didn’t work because I’m forty four and I still behave that way.

Then I thought I would frame the point in the context of the habitually needy.

Those who seem to take and take and take, while rarely giving.

That didn’t work because I still have relationships in which I take wayyy more than I contribute, only to complain when I’m not getting what I hoped for.

Either way the fingers that were pointing back at me were too apparent to apply this to anyone but all of us.

Our relationships will never reach their full potential until we are at least as concerned with what we want “for" people as we are with what we want or need “from" them.

From and for are two tiny words that when applied in this context have the potential to shift perspective and create balance.

What are your needs, wants, hopes and longings?

Apart from your faith, where are they met on a human level?

Who do you turn to?

I’m asking you to think selfishly just for a moment.

Who do you rely on and what do you want / need “from" them?

Now the shift.

Consider those individuals and ask yourself the question “what do I want for them?”.

Apart from your understanding of their expressed longings and desires, deep in your heart what do you want for them and how could you do a better job of providing.

Keep in mind that in order to get this right, what we want for others needs to first consider what they want for themselves.

Right now you’re thinking about your loved ones.

Some of you are thinking about how you’ve been let down or disappointed.

Imagine a world in which we inertially hoped for the good of those who have failed us?

And then there is our own failing.

Those times where we have drained a person and then made them feel bad when they didn’t have anything else to give.

There’s power in moving from a perspective of what you haven’t gotten into what you have to give.

It can be applied everywhere.

What do you want for the person waiting on you in the diner?

What do you want for your boss who drives you crazy?

What do you want for that friend you fell out with?

For and from…

For and from…

For and from…

Teach it to your kids…

Model it to the world…

And be nice to yourself when you forget...

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com