Two words that change everything...
I’ve started this post three times.
The core has been in place for a month but the framework has not felt right.
Originally it was about how to deal with kids when they are selfish and entitled.
That didn’t work because I’m forty four and I still behave that way.
Then I thought I would frame the point in the context of the habitually needy.
Those who seem to take and take and take, while rarely giving.
That didn’t work because I still have relationships in which I take wayyy more than I contribute, only to complain when I’m not getting what I hoped for.
Either way the fingers that were pointing back at me were too apparent to apply this to anyone but all of us.
Our relationships will never reach their full potential until we are at least as concerned with what we want “for" people as we are with what we want or need “from" them.
From and for are two tiny words that when applied in this context have the potential to shift perspective and create balance.
What are your needs, wants, hopes and longings?
Apart from your faith, where are they met on a human level?
Who do you turn to?
I’m asking you to think selfishly just for a moment.
Who do you rely on and what do you want / need “from" them?
Now the shift.
Consider those individuals and ask yourself the question “what do I want for them?”.
Apart from your understanding of their expressed longings and desires, deep in your heart what do you want for them and how could you do a better job of providing.
Keep in mind that in order to get this right, what we want for others needs to first consider what they want for themselves.
Right now you’re thinking about your loved ones.
Some of you are thinking about how you’ve been let down or disappointed.
Imagine a world in which we inertially hoped for the good of those who have failed us?
And then there is our own failing.
Those times where we have drained a person and then made them feel bad when they didn’t have anything else to give.
There’s power in moving from a perspective of what you haven’t gotten into what you have to give.
It can be applied everywhere.
What do you want for the person waiting on you in the diner?
What do you want for your boss who drives you crazy?
What do you want for that friend you fell out with?
For and from…
For and from…
For and from…
Teach it to your kids…
Model it to the world…
And be nice to yourself when you forget...
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