Two words that change everything...

I’ve started this post three times.

The core has been in place for a month but the framework has not felt right.

Originally it was about how to deal with kids when they are selfish and entitled.

That didn’t work because I’m forty four and I still behave that way.

Then I thought I would frame the point in the context of the habitually needy.

Those who seem to take and take and take, while rarely giving.

That didn’t work because I still have relationships in which I take wayyy more than I contribute, only to complain when I’m not getting what I hoped for.

Either way the fingers that were pointing back at me were too apparent to apply this to anyone but all of us.

Our relationships will never reach their full potential until we are at least as concerned with what we want “for" people as we are with what we want or need “from" them.

From and for are two tiny words that when applied in this context have the potential to shift perspective and create balance.

What are your needs, wants, hopes and longings?

Apart from your faith, where are they met on a human level?

Who do you turn to?

I’m asking you to think selfishly just for a moment.

Who do you rely on and what do you want / need “from" them?

Now the shift.

Consider those individuals and ask yourself the question “what do I want for them?”.

Apart from your understanding of their expressed longings and desires, deep in your heart what do you want for them and how could you do a better job of providing.

Keep in mind that in order to get this right, what we want for others needs to first consider what they want for themselves.

Right now you’re thinking about your loved ones.

Some of you are thinking about how you’ve been let down or disappointed.

Imagine a world in which we inertially hoped for the good of those who have failed us?

And then there is our own failing.

Those times where we have drained a person and then made them feel bad when they didn’t have anything else to give.

There’s power in moving from a perspective of what you haven’t gotten into what you have to give.

It can be applied everywhere.

What do you want for the person waiting on you in the diner?

What do you want for your boss who drives you crazy?

What do you want for that friend you fell out with?

For and from…

For and from…

For and from…

Teach it to your kids…

Model it to the world…

And be nice to yourself when you forget...

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

The past is just that...

You are living with the ramifications of your mistakes. You are living with the result of your failures. You are living with the rippling memories born from regret. You are living. Know that the last sentence trumps the first three. I'm not waxing poetic… You are living. You are alive. You are still here… So how do I know about the mistakes, failures and regret? I know because we are the same. We are bound by flesh, oxygen, body and soul. Tied by a blood oath that we have no memory of making and yet you know a fellow human when you see one. I know your humanity and when I look in the mirror of my life that hangs behind my eyelids I know mine. My reflection stares me down for better at times but often for worse. It whispers nagging reminders of my past and writes fiction about the people around me. It creates stories about how much better they have it. At once convinced that I am walled off from the rich, juicy, connected lives "they" have. They aren't lonely. They have satisfying relationships. They have meaningful work. They _____________________ but I ____________________. For some of you this litany is constant and has spun into depression. For others these thoughts represent an occasional slump. Whichever camp you fall into it isn't fun, and these feelings can really suck the joy out of life.

I'd like to invite you to shift.

- As it relates to others, you just can't really know anyone's inner world but your own. What's more is you would be shocked beyond words if you did. Seriously…

- Realize that this isn't how God wants us to live and He's able to reach into places we can't.  Ask Him to.

- Write yourself a love letter.  As crazy as it may sound, being intentional about countering self deprecating thoughts is so helpful.  In your letter also highlight hopes and dreams for the future and revisit it from time to time.

- As Steven Pressfield says "Put your butt whereyour heart wants to be". If in your heart you want to paint, sit at an easel and paint. Until you actually put your butt where your heart wants to be it will beat in vain.

- Get sneaky.  Search the landscape for others who need a boost and find sneaky ways to encourage them or meet a need.  Fill the parking meter to max time before you drive off.  Go the local art school and tell them you want to pay for art lessons for someone who can't afford them.  Visit a nursing home and listen to the wonderful stories that the elderly have to share. Its really time to stop obsessing about what you don't have and to start learning about what you have to give.

You can't erase your past but you can make peace with it.

You can't erase your past but you can learn from it.

You can't erase your past but you can find redemption.

You can't erase your past but you can decide today to stop allowing your past to erase your future.

Curious about life coaching?  Call 978.994.0431 or email ThatLifeNow@gmail.com to set up a confidential, free, sample session with Jim Trick today!

Don't waste your heartache

“Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them” A.A. Milne

Over a decade ago I had hit a serious rough patch.

My father was dying.

Our finances were bad.

I was morbidly obese.

I was so depressed and it just felt like a season of never ending struggle.

Have you ever been there?

Maybe you’re there right now.

For me it was paralyzing.

For me it was the worst season of my life.

At my lowest point my wife gave me a piece of advice.

“Embrace it”

Excuse me?

You want me to embrace this thing that is killing me?

“I mean it,” She said.

“This is here to teach you something about yourself and if you fight it you will miss it”

Those were the words that began to light my darkened path back to life.

When I choose to see my struggles through the lens of redemption I stop seeing them as struggles.

Redemption is what happens when your seemingly terrible situations bring about powerful blessings for others.

I have yet to have a struggle that I have not been able to use as an eventual blessing.

Working with individuals interested in figuring out how to turn their own struggles into blessings for others is a big part of why I chose to work as a life coach.

Right now you may not be able to see the hope you have to offer others.

I do…

To set up a free, over the phone, confidential, one on one, trial life coaching session with Jim, call 978.994.0431 today!