Becoming Real

The Velveteen Rabbit tells this story;

A little boy becomes ill with scarlet fever.

His nanna gives him a stuffed rabbit and it becomes his favorite toy.

As the little boy recovers, his bunny goes everywhere with him.

To him the rabbit is real…

Like any well loved toy, the beloved bunny begins to show signs of wear, but the boy’s love for his bunny never wavers.

Nearing recovery the Doctor recommends the boy go to the seaside and that the contents of his room be burnt to disinfect his living area.

The bunny, worn, charred and discarded cries one real tear…

Heartbreaking right?

The tear produces a flower…

The flower produces a fairy…

The fairy makes the rabbit real…

Why am I telling you the story of the Velveteen Rabbit?

So that you have context for this excerpt and then we can get to work…

Here it is;

He said “You become.

It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

We do “become”…

It does take a long time...

You have been loved…

You have also been charred…

You know what its like to feel discarded...

The love, the pain, the victory and the loss…

The wear and tear…

If you choose to be one who “breaks easily”...

If you choose to be one who has “sharp edges”...

If you refuse to “carefully keep yourself”…

It will take even longer for you to become “Real” .

Real is so beautiful.

Embarrassed?

Insecure?

Fake?

Well…

ok…

all of us are sometimes…

But nothing is as gorgeous as “Real”.

Curious about life coaching? If you are ready to schedule your confidentialsample session with Jim Trick or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

"It's better than nothing" might not be...

"It's better than nothing" might not be.

Sometimes better than nothing is more damaging than nothing.

Nothing is empty and eventually creates a Vacuum.

Vacuums suck…

See what I did there?

Zero action = nothing.

Nothing creates a vacuum that sucks and magnifies the lack of action aka the "nothing".

The suckiness of the vacuum eventually leads to rock bottom.

Rock bottom, if it's doing its job, inspires powerful action.

Presto change o, nothing has sparked something and that something has the potential to change everything.

You're obese so three times a month you go for a walk during which your heart rate never really gets elevated.

You long for a companion so six months ago you went on two match.com dates.

You've hated your job for years so once every couple of months you play around with your résumé.

"I'ts better than nothing" is what we say when we are basically doing nothing but won't admit it.

“It's better than nothing” is what we say when we are doing a bit of something but not enough to get any meaningful results.

If this is hitting home with you try these steps to start your shift.

1.  Admit that you have choices and be honest with yourself about what you have been choosing.

2.  Replace the phrase “its better than nothing” with “its basically nothing”.  This is not about beating yourself up, its about keeping it real in service of your goals.

3.  List twenty potential actions then choose the four that have the most juice.  Write a little about what you thinkthe potential resultswould be if you were to engage each of the four action items for nine months.

4.  Use your calendar to schedule these action items, keep those appointments and track each action item’s result.

Initial steps are courageous and can be really hard.

“Its better than nothing" is a mindset that is neither courageous nor is it difficult, and in fact may not be what it claims to be.

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

If I had a son...

If I had a son

I would teach him how to say hello.

I would teach him when someone says “hi my name is Mike”  he is to say “hi mike, my name is Billy, nice to meet you”.

I would not only teach him the importance of eye contact and a firm but not too firm handshake but also the importance of living up to that handshake.

If I had a son

The pain in my arm from carrying him wouldn’t matter but the pain of his first steps would.

If I had a son

he would knowsometimes we have to eat things we don’t like, do things we don’t feel like doing and not always say what’s on our mind.

He would realize engaging these truths will make doing the things he loves even more lovely.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to make his own trout flies and how to fish them.   He would know about the emerging caddis and the power of hoppers and cinnamon ants in the Fall.

He would know we roll cast and high stick dead drift way more than we false cast and that the shadow cast scene in A River Runs Through It is totally bogus.

If I had a son

he would teach me to love what he loves.

For the first time in my life I’d know the rules of football.

I would understand all the ins and outs of baseball or ballet or watercolor painting or a million other pursuits about which I know little.

If I had a son

I would teach him that the only way to have a good friend is by being one.

He’d know that many he will encounter were not taught this but that wouldn’t stop him.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to write a song, talk to girls, stand up for people who can’t and appreciate beauty.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to throw a punch and why he shouldn’t.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to stand up under heartbreak.

If I had a son

I would help him understand grace, redemption and reconciliation as more than just theological concepts but as a way of life.

If i had a son

I would teach him how to apologize, tell a joke, make a fire, pray, cook eggs, be kind and forgive.

If I had a son

I’d have so much to learn...

If I had a son

I would teach him to never see another’s brokenness as his own.

I would say “I love you” and “I’m so proud of you” so that he would never have to guess.

I would let him know that my desire was to get it right and that I regret the wounds I inadvertently bestowed upon him.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to say goodbye.

 If you are ready to schedule your free sample coaching session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com