If I had a son...

If I had a son

I would teach him how to say hello.

I would teach him when someone says “hi my name is Mike”  he is to say “hi mike, my name is Billy, nice to meet you”.

I would not only teach him the importance of eye contact and a firm but not too firm handshake but also the importance of living up to that handshake.

If I had a son

The pain in my arm from carrying him wouldn’t matter but the pain of his first steps would.

If I had a son

he would knowsometimes we have to eat things we don’t like, do things we don’t feel like doing and not always say what’s on our mind.

He would realize engaging these truths will make doing the things he loves even more lovely.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to make his own trout flies and how to fish them.   He would know about the emerging caddis and the power of hoppers and cinnamon ants in the Fall.

He would know we roll cast and high stick dead drift way more than we false cast and that the shadow cast scene in A River Runs Through It is totally bogus.

If I had a son

he would teach me to love what he loves.

For the first time in my life I’d know the rules of football.

I would understand all the ins and outs of baseball or ballet or watercolor painting or a million other pursuits about which I know little.

If I had a son

I would teach him that the only way to have a good friend is by being one.

He’d know that many he will encounter were not taught this but that wouldn’t stop him.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to write a song, talk to girls, stand up for people who can’t and appreciate beauty.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to throw a punch and why he shouldn’t.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to stand up under heartbreak.

If I had a son

I would help him understand grace, redemption and reconciliation as more than just theological concepts but as a way of life.

If i had a son

I would teach him how to apologize, tell a joke, make a fire, pray, cook eggs, be kind and forgive.

If I had a son

I’d have so much to learn...

If I had a son

I would teach him to never see another’s brokenness as his own.

I would say “I love you” and “I’m so proud of you” so that he would never have to guess.

I would let him know that my desire was to get it right and that I regret the wounds I inadvertently bestowed upon him.

If I had a son

I would teach him how to say goodbye.

 If you are ready to schedule your free sample coaching session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

You know what to do but you ...

How many times have you said or thought

“I know what to do, but I don’t do it”

Without going too far with the following notion, I do believe we program ourselves with our words.

It seems to me that the more we say things like that, the more likely we are to manifest them.

We know we impact the people in our lives with our words but what about the things we say to ourselves or about ourselves?

Most of the time we don’t even notice we are doing it.

Self talk has a profound impact on our lives.

In the name of intentional transformation, I’d like to offer a replacement for the previous phrase.

From now on we are eliminating “I know what to do, but I don’t do it” with:

“I do, what I know will work”

In your profession…

“I do, what I know will work”

In your relationships…

“I do, what I know will work”

In your passionate pursuit…

“I do, what I know will work”

If this phrase is connectingright now, know that it also works as a question.

“Will this work?”

Sometimes just that pause, that extra couple of seconds is all it takes to not repeat choices that have clearly not worked in the past.

Take this as a little tip.

Hope you get big results!

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

Are you choosing happiness?

He looked familiar but I couldn’t place him…

We had been chatting for a while and my friend Alan had started the conversation.

Then it hit me…

The guy we were hanging with was famed educator, Shawn Achor.

My life is very strange…

I have been a fan of Shawn’s work for a long time but out of context all I knew was that he seemed like a nice guy and we were having a shockingly detailed conversation about the places where the four noble truths of traditional Buddhism overlap with some of Christ’s teachings.

You know…. just a little light chit chat.

Shawn is famous for his work in positive psychology and is a global game changer in the area of happiness.  With over nine million views on his TED Talk and 12 years at Harvard University, he knows a thing or two about a thing or two but his primary obsessions as a researcher / speaker are happiness and success.

His research has resulted in these realizations:

Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success and often redefines it. Happiness is a choice. Engaging in five specific daily activities will increase your experience of happiness.

I had heard about his research and thought that it sounded interesting but like a lot of things that sound good or seem too easy I let it go.

I let it go until hanging out with him and pressing him a little.

It became very clear that Shawn walks his talk, believes his research and that means a lot to me.

He says if you will do these fivesteps for 21 days,  you will begin to see a lasting shift in your mindset towards more positivity.

I have been playing around with his happiness practice but as of today I am committing to it for thirty days.

Will you join me?

The five daily activities

1) Bring gratitude to mind: Write down three NEW things that you are grateful for each day

2) Journal: About a positive experience you’ve had recently for two minutes once a day

3) Exercise: Engage in 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity

4) Meditate: Watch your breath go in and out for two minutes a day.  I add to this practice a listening prayer.  Sitting in silence with an open heart to what Christ wants for me in that moment.  There are so many approaches to meditation.  For Christians you may choose a scripture or a listening prayer.  For others of you, you may just sit quietly.  I do fifteen to twenty minutes.

5) Engage in a random, conscious act of kindness.  This can be as simple as sending an encouraging email or as big as paying for a stranger's groceries.  The key here is for it to be conscious.   Don't look over your day trying to see if something fits the bill. Be intentional and thoughtful about it.

If you are reading this and you have been going through an extended season of unhappiness, perhaps asking yourself if it will ever pass, you have a choice.

The inner critic does not have to win this one.

The voice that says “it’s too easy”, “he doesn’t know about MY particular situation” or “I don’t know what to do but I do know that this won’t work”.  You have a choice right now to engage these five daily habits as an experiment and see what happens.

30 days…

Who’s in?

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com