You know how fat people are...

I don't even remember what I was talking about with the woman at the store when she said,

"you know, it's like when you see a fat person..."

I sat silently.

I was shocked but didn't want to show it.

"They just look so gross, you know how fat people are,” she continued.

I didn’t respond.

I just changed the subject.

That exchange happened a month ago.

Today I am writing from the deck of the ferry that carries passengers from the mainland out to Martha's Vineyard.

I'm so happy right now, in part because I'm with my band of brothers.

We are starting a weekend away one day early.

Our wives will be here tomorrow.

The other reason I'm so happy is that I fially fit in the seat here on the ferry.

I have been morbidly obese most of my life.

Ten years ago I was 430 lbs.

Today I am 244 lbs and losing.

I do, indeed, know "how fat people are".

I am an expert.

We are the same as skinny people.

Everyone has an area of their life they want to change.

The thing we "fat people" want to change shows up on the outside for all the world to see.

The woman doesn't know I'm a fat person.

I wear it on the inside now.

Make no mistake; I am still a fat person.

It took me 42 years to find the answer to why we can know what to do and still not do it.

It's what enabled me to reclaim my life.

It's what inspired me to become a life coach in the first place.

Though I may not look like a fat person anymore, I always will be.

It's ok.

I honor that part of me by not judging him, forgiving him and by not trying to banish him.

He just doesn't get to steer the ship of my life anymore.  But that's for another blog post.

The woman does not know she is talking to a fat person and it makes me wonder what else people see and don't see and what their perception causes them to say and not say.

An ancient mystic once said that "even a fool appears wise when he says nothing".

But that only speaks to his actions and not his heart.

The heart is a great place to start.