Becoming Real

The Velveteen Rabbit tells this story;

A little boy becomes ill with scarlet fever.

His nanna gives him a stuffed rabbit and it becomes his favorite toy.

As the little boy recovers, his bunny goes everywhere with him.

To him the rabbit is real…

Like any well loved toy, the beloved bunny begins to show signs of wear, but the boy’s love for his bunny never wavers.

Nearing recovery the Doctor recommends the boy go to the seaside and that the contents of his room be burnt to disinfect his living area.

The bunny, worn, charred and discarded cries one real tear…

Heartbreaking right?

The tear produces a flower…

The flower produces a fairy…

The fairy makes the rabbit real…

Why am I telling you the story of the Velveteen Rabbit?

So that you have context for this excerpt and then we can get to work…

Here it is;

He said “You become.

It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

We do “become”…

It does take a long time...

You have been loved…

You have also been charred…

You know what its like to feel discarded...

The love, the pain, the victory and the loss…

The wear and tear…

If you choose to be one who “breaks easily”...

If you choose to be one who has “sharp edges”...

If you refuse to “carefully keep yourself”…

It will take even longer for you to become “Real” .

Real is so beautiful.

Embarrassed?

Insecure?

Fake?

Well…

ok…

all of us are sometimes…

But nothing is as gorgeous as “Real”.

Curious about life coaching? If you are ready to schedule your confidentialsample session with Jim Trick or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

My inner twelve year old...

Gym class...

Middle school...

Fat kid...

Hell...

No, seriously.

Hell.

Once a year they made us participate in national fitness day.

I had mastered the fine art of accidentally (on purpose) forgetting my gym clothes but national fitness day was mandatory.

Velcro sneakers from Kmart…

Hand me down jeans from my brother who was eleven years older than me.

They almost fit because I was so heavy.

They were tight…

The field behind John Greenleaf Whittier middle school is vast.

Four laps…

Half way through my first I had been passed by other kids who were already on lap two.

“Ok Trick… good try!” Mr Healy said, motioning for me to come back.

He patted me on the back.

The pat on the back was him saying good job Jim…

Beyond last place...

Out of breath, sweating, the feeling of damp jeans clinging to my legs, restricting my movement.

Humiliated…

This is the kind of moment that feeds our inner critic…

The inner “saboteur”, if you will.

Its 2015

I am forty-four years old.

I run now.

Our town has a 3.5 mile loop we call “the neck”.

Its a gorgeous peninsula, surrounded by the ocean and connected to the mainland by a causeway.

Beautiful homes and majestic views abound.

I am fortunate enough to have the neck as my track.

With all of its beauty, running, even in a place like Marblehead is still a struggle.

Why?

Because that 12 year old boy is still inside here…

The saboteur is still telling him he can’t.

The good news is that the ever-present twelve year old Jim Trick has gotten wiseto him, thus allowing the forty-four year old Jim Trick to do battle.

The first quarter mile is always about fighting the voice that says “What are you doing???”   "This isn’t what you do!”

For years I pretended that the smoke of those inner, distant battles were crazy and to be ignored.

For years I tried to pretend like that bullied, awkward, embarrassed twelve year old never existed.

That little boy is no longer banished.

He now has an advocate.

Someone to say yes you can, and I know you will.

What is time?

Are you still telling yourself you should be over this stuff by now?

Are you still living under the false belief that there is a statute of limitations on your story?

This post is not for those of you who live in the past and have chosen to spend your life wallowing in it.

This post is an invitation to those of you who long for a deeper, richer, truer experience from today forward.

You are not alone…

There is fuel inside your story…

The saboteur is not you…

No…   Its not.

The advocate IS you…

Yes… it is.

Heartache is the breeding ground of compassion and a million other beautiful thingsif you are willing to cultivate it.

Heartache is the breeding ground of bitterness and every terrible thing your saboteur wants you to believe if you won’t.

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your confidentialsample session with Jim Trick or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com

"It's better than nothing" might not be...

"It's better than nothing" might not be.

Sometimes better than nothing is more damaging than nothing.

Nothing is empty and eventually creates a Vacuum.

Vacuums suck…

See what I did there?

Zero action = nothing.

Nothing creates a vacuum that sucks and magnifies the lack of action aka the "nothing".

The suckiness of the vacuum eventually leads to rock bottom.

Rock bottom, if it's doing its job, inspires powerful action.

Presto change o, nothing has sparked something and that something has the potential to change everything.

You're obese so three times a month you go for a walk during which your heart rate never really gets elevated.

You long for a companion so six months ago you went on two match.com dates.

You've hated your job for years so once every couple of months you play around with your résumé.

"I'ts better than nothing" is what we say when we are basically doing nothing but won't admit it.

“It's better than nothing” is what we say when we are doing a bit of something but not enough to get any meaningful results.

If this is hitting home with you try these steps to start your shift.

1.  Admit that you have choices and be honest with yourself about what you have been choosing.

2.  Replace the phrase “its better than nothing” with “its basically nothing”.  This is not about beating yourself up, its about keeping it real in service of your goals.

3.  List twenty potential actions then choose the four that have the most juice.  Write a little about what you thinkthe potential resultswould be if you were to engage each of the four action items for nine months.

4.  Use your calendar to schedule these action items, keep those appointments and track each action item’s result.

Initial steps are courageous and can be really hard.

“Its better than nothing" is a mindset that is neither courageous nor is it difficult, and in fact may not be what it claims to be.

Curious about life coaching?  If you are ready to schedule your sample session or have any questions just call:  978.994.0431 or email thatlifenow@gmail.com